Fruit Spritzers and Donut Lips

I’ve been a fan of Cover Girl Wetslicks lipgloss ever since Horsey Foreign Model and Small Orange Man sang its praises on the best-ever season of America’s Next Top Model. It really does have a great, nonsticky texture, and it does indeed smell like cupcakes. On the other hand, my enthusiasm for Wetslicks has never been quite enough for me to keep one of my three tubes anywhere I could find them, and if I had to guess, I’d say they’re slumming around the bottom of one of my lesser-used makeup bags with about twelve other rarely-used lipglosses that seemed like a good idea at the time of purchase.

The newest Wetslicks incarnation, Fruit Spritzers, has recently rekindled the flame. Packaged in a convenient squeezy tube, rather than the wand-applicator Wetslicks of yore, the only real difference is that these glosses taste and mell like assorted fruits, not cupcakes. That was enough for me to buy three and throw them all in my bag.

Of the three I own, the lemon flavor is the weakest, and a disappointment. Papaya is considerably better. The flavor/fragrance of Fig Splash, however, is awesome. To me, it seems like more of a chocolate flavor than straight-up fig, though I rarely eat non-Newtonated figs so I may not be the best judge here. Way, way better than cupcakes.

The color of Fig Splash, on the other hand, I can’t recommend. It's the frostiest lipgloss I've ever seen. Crazy frosty white shimmer. If you use any more than the tiniest dab, your lips will look like a day-old glazed donut, guaranteed.

This may be a beauty blog, but we recognize that there are times when you must choose your own interests over how you look to the outside world. And for me, Fig Splash time is one of those times. I don’t care how I look, my lips are soft and figgy fresh. And that's all I need.