Sunday, January 6, 2008

On the ninth, tenth, eleventh and twelfth day of Christmas...

I'm comin' in just under the line, y'all!

Sure, CHRISTMAS Christmas is over, it's already 2008. But as all good Catholics (and some of the rest of us) know, the twelfth and final day of Christmas is traditionally today, January 6th. It's the day the three wise men came to Jesus' manger NOT to smoke a rubber cigar, as my sister and I used to sing, but to shower the little babe with gifts of frankincense, gold and myrrh.

Anyway, in honor of those wise men I decided to gift my remaining four days of Christmas to the wise men amongst our readership (too numerous to be counted, I'm sure). This scent's for you, you guys. These were fun presents to pick out, mainly because I was happily surprised how many nice-smelling colognes there are out there. Maybe you lady-killers should throw away the Old Spice and wear the following:

1. Dior Homme.

Smells like:
Lavender, Sage, Cardamom, Iris, Cocoa Bean, Amber, Vetiver, Patchouli, Leather.

Now unfortunately I didn't get to smell this on a real live man but that's probably a good thing. The mere scent of it on a paper tester was enough to make me float in the air, like in those cartoons when some character is hungry and is carried along by the scent of pig roasting on a spit or something.

It smelled so good: sexy, yet intimately reassuring. Noticable, but definitely soft enough to let some wonderful natural sweat smell come through.

And it wasn't the only Dior cologne that I found shockingly good. Unlike many of Dior's women's perfumes, the men's offerings were virtually all subtle, not-overly-complex-or-heavy blends based around one solid and identifiable fragrance note, just the way I like things.

Please tell me gross Tom Ford is not the one who deserves the credit for creating such a lovely line of colognes. If he is, I owe him an apology for thinking he's so gross. And maybe dinner and a movie.

2. Crave by Calvin Klein.

Alright, dumb bottle design. Everything about it looks very outdated. That phallic arrow/traffic sign thingy is obnoxious. But the smell is just fantastic.

This cologne is even lighter than Dior Homme - very clean smelling, like simple bar of soap combined with the smell of newly split wood and some lemon. My imaginary Ken doll would wear Crave in the summer and Dior Homme in the winter.

Calvin Klein's Escape for Men is not bad, either. In fact, I give four stars to the whole line, just as I do to Dior's colognes. I'd say Calvin Klein scents will please guys who want to wear something slightly younger and fresher and, you know, take their clothes off a lot, while Dior colognes are for the more worldly and allusive playboy. Who want to take their clothes off a lot.

3. Van Clef and Arpels for Men.
Apologies for the bad pic. Despite the blurriness, you can still see what a very chic bottle it is.

The scent is the heaviest of all those I mention here, but it is prickly and spicy enough not to overwhelm.

Did you have a crush on that silent, sulky, dark-haired, Rimbaud-quoting kid who smoked cloves in high school? I bet he wears this when he puts on his velvet-lined tux jacket to go play bass in his rock band.

This was Serge Gainsbourg's scent. Enough said.

4. Marc Jacob's Men.
I liked this fragrance despite myself. It is tad too sweet, I think, bu t the design is so classy that I can forgive a lot.

There is some sort of ingredient in here that I became completely smell-ddicted to. Take your pick: it was either the Italian bergamot, the Tuscan cypress, the cumin, cardamom, ginger, fig leaves, rose, cyclamen, Cedarwood, musk, or Indonesian Patchouli.

Kind of sounds like a gingerbread cookie recipe, right? Maybe that's what it was that made my mouth water.

This is perfect for your sensitive soul woodsman, or your Arcade Fire-listening dandy. Disarming, unique, and vibrant.

Phew! Made it!

And to all a good night.

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